Mr. Spitballs

So my husband and I were hanging around the apartment the other day when we hear this almighty HOCK.  Someone, somewhere in our apartment block was hocking up a massive loogie. Rob was visibly amused/surprised by this.  I, however, was not.

We’ve only been in our tiny (but lovely) student apartment a few weeks now, and Rob spent the first week visiting family back in Perth. Which meant I had a whole week to get used to the sights and sounds of our new home all by myself. And I soon learnt that Mr. Spitballs, as he shall now be affectionately called, was an active member of the Neighbourhood Symphony.

But this just happened to be the first time Rob that had heard Mr. Spitballs in action. I quickly explained that he was a new sound effect in the soundtrack of our lives, and we laughed to ourselves at how any healthy person could even make that noise, let alone on a regular basis.

Then a thought struck me. Due to the location of our apartment, Mr. Spitballs would have to live somewhere above us, and that meant…

Me: Hey – what if he’s spitting into our courtyard?

Rob: I was just thinking that. He could be aiming for us right now.

Me: That hypothetical bastard.

Rob: I am so hypothetically angry right now.

And then we started talking about Imgur.

And that is usually where conversations with my husband end up.

PS: I’m like 97.8% sure Mr. Spitballs is not spitting into our courtyard. But in the time it took me to type this he’s hocked another massive loogie. Who has this much phlegm?